Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
