dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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