I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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