If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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