Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
