Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
