I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
