i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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