Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
