He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
