The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
