I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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