I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
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You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
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I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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