So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
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My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
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Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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