his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
