It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
