i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
