I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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