I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
