just survived the first fart of the relationship.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
