Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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