When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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