So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
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I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
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Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
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