Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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