yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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