I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
