My brain says no but my pants say off.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
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