may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
