Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Randomize
