On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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