I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
