I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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