The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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