guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize