The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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