I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
This can only be settled by a dance off.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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