So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations