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• (602): View more from Arizona

  So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.

  (480): View more from Arizona

  so you punched his junk, right?

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• (989): View more from Michigan

  i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow

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• (253): View more from Washington

  For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.

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• (254): View more from Texas

  I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time

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  If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things

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• (810): View more from Michigan

  Whats the count minus fat chicks?

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.

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• (719): View more from Colorado

  Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.

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  23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know

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• (318): View more from Louisiana

  she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper

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• (323): View more from California

  She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.

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• (585): View more from New York

  You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.

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• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations

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