Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy