he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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