Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(317): View more from Indiana

idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break

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(317): idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break http://tfl.nu/7szo

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(410): View more from Maryland

...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...

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(410): ...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear... http://tfl.nu/jb6u

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...

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(732): I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste... http://tfl.nu/n6mj

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(309): View more from Illinois

I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before

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(309): I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before http://tfl.nu/c2z8

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?

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(508): I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation? http://tfl.nu/jmz5

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(251): View more from Alabama

So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.

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(251): So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night. http://tfl.nu/7pk1

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(402): View more from Nebraska

yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic

(1-402): View more from Nebraska

i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.

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(402): yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic (1-402): i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities. http://tfl.nu/psst

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.

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(732): I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered. http://tfl.nu/02c6

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(416): View more from Toronto

I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon

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(416): I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon http://tfl.nu/5ghl

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.

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(202): Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful. http://tfl.nu/bz9e

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(540): View more from Virginia

i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall

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(540): i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall http://tfl.nu/ora9

Replies (6) Good night (3986) Bad night (1115)
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(519): View more from Ontario

Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet

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(519): Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet http://tfl.nu/qweh

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(203): View more from Connecticut

You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car

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(203): You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car http://tfl.nu/3edo

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(616): View more from Michigan

My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"

(1-616): View more from Michigan

I think you were raised by the wrong sister

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(616): My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks" (1-616): I think you were raised by the wrong sister http://tfl.nu/18dn

Replies (1) Good night (1634) Bad night (417)
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(281): View more from Texas

Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.

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(281): Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice. http://tfl.nu/w31k

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