Texts From Last Night

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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  had another sex dream about alec baldwin...

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  (828): had another sex dream about alec baldwin... http://tfl.nu/qec0
  Replies (32) Good night (1469) Bad night (4515)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.

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  (250): I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official. http://tfl.nu/pkh7
  Replies (13) Good night (5716) Bad night (773)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats

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  (267): your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats http://tfl.nu/u2vh
  Replies (10) Good night (4375) Bad night (1224)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.

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  (918): It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever. http://tfl.nu/0i0j
  Replies (31) Good night (886) Bad night (5876)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night

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  (712): I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night http://tfl.nu/v3fw
  Replies (20) Good night (3776) Bad night (1657)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."

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  (740): well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful." http://tfl.nu/nfe2
  Replies (11) Good night (1462) Bad night (5893)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....

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  (210): Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later..... http://tfl.nu/qwdm
  Replies (2) Good night (5150) Bad night (1089)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing

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  (540): i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing http://tfl.nu/o77s
  Replies (18) Good night (2619) Bad night (1482)
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  (607): View more from New York

  Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.

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  (607): Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating. http://tfl.nu/yfie
  Replies (4) Good night (5157) Bad night (1011)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke

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  (314): It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke http://tfl.nu/h2tw
  Replies (4) Good night (513) Bad night (921)
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  (818): View more from California

  The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.

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  (818): The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me. http://tfl.nu/w1nr
  Replies (18) Good night (5952) Bad night (522)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down

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  (860): You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down http://tfl.nu/2dmo
  Replies (4) Good night (762) Bad night (830)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie

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  (440): Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie http://tfl.nu/g1ng
  Replies (3) Good night (928) Bad night (616)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!

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  (908): When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?! http://tfl.nu/arig
  Replies (3) Good night (1336) Bad night (265)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....

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  (740): i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people.... http://tfl.nu/0ph5
  Replies (6) Good night (396) Bad night (660)

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