so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.