Texts From Last Night

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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord

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  (617): Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord http://tfl.nu/e1xr
  Replies (41) Good night (1088) Bad night (3733)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...

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  (360): The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy... http://tfl.nu/q7uq
  Replies (14) Good night (1205) Bad night (2414)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.

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  (618): So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in. http://tfl.nu/s63a
  Replies (39) Good night (4269) Bad night (5414)
• Favorite

  (339): View more from Massachusetts

  When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave

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  (339): When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave http://tfl.nu/n4gt
  Replies (9) Good night (962) Bad night (5742)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.

  (1-201): View more from New Jersey

  HOT DATE.

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  (201): Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day. (1-201): HOT DATE. http://tfl.nu/4vki
  Replies (11) Good night (3760) Bad night (1492)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something

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  (570): i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something http://tfl.nu/ax1a
  Replies (28) Good night (7734) Bad night (1836)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.

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  (502): I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean. http://tfl.nu/5uk0
  Replies (6) Good night (4317) Bad night (1341)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.

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  (603): You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time. http://tfl.nu/k6f1
  Replies (22) Good night (4579) Bad night (1022)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.

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  (773): What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this. http://tfl.nu/0oyt
  Replies (12) Good night (2308) Bad night (1005)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable

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  (425): Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable http://tfl.nu/av4s
  Replies (8) Good night (3112) Bad night (823)
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs

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  (231): I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs http://tfl.nu/sh65
  Replies (17) Good night (1112) Bad night (3198)
• Favorite

  (234): View more from Ohio

  Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.

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  (234): Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me. http://tfl.nu/x5lb
  Replies (3) Good night (1814) Bad night (648)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.

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  (816): It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain. http://tfl.nu/o28o
  Replies (1) Good night (1354) Bad night (583)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.

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  (419): I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home. http://tfl.nu/9c0m
  Replies (4) Good night (1107) Bad night (2102)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia

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  (708): Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia http://tfl.nu/57sg
  Replies (6) Good night (307) Bad night (927)

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