yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
