Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
