She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
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You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
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So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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