i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
