Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
