Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
