Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
