Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
