I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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