bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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