in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
