it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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