At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
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