i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
