the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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