Betty ford says i'm here all night
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
