Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
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