You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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