hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
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