i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
