I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
