you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
