I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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