I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
