I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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