my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
