he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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