I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
