so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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