My Higher Power is John Stamos
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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