you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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